面具～

我不知不觉的已经戴着那么多年的面具来面对你～～

你知道吗每次你都会问我有没有在恋爱中的时候～

每次你说我一定是在恋爱的时候我都很想很想的

对你说没有！！而我喜欢的人就在我眼前～

可是我每次都说不出口～

应为我不敢说出来～

我害怕～害怕会失去你～

所以～每次我都用那副笑口常开的面具来面对你～～

可是内心里却有如被猛兽撕咬～

撕胸裂肺感觉～

可能面具戴久了～

所以也忘了真正的我

是谁了～

心～

六年了～你终于告诉我

你终于找到你的幸福了

听到后我很开心～

也很伤心～

开心，是应为你找到了你的快乐～

你有能逃离你的冰山

伤心，是应为你终于属于人家的了～

而我也真的要吧你从我心里干出来

算吧～也许这是该放手的时候了～

也许这是我一直等的机会吧～

希望你能开心～也希望我能放下对你心

Warning! Battery Low

Oh my~Today is the day where I need to go for my lls assignment, visiting a NGO and help them out or do anything there for four hours. We suppose to reach there at 1pm but end up we decided to go there earlier and get get prepare. Once we reach there, there are only 3-5 of them around and all of them are so young~~we expected to have more of them. After asking we only know that they went out for some activities and will be back around 2:30pm, so we start playing some game with the few kid. there 3 of them who are very very close up, they dont talk or interact with us much even when we try to interact with them. But after a few games,they start to be more open up. =)

We actually planned many different games for them to play during the four hours but end up only one of them are being played. why?? First, there are only few of them there and secondly, they prefer us to play games that they familiar with. =) Aiks...our meeting to planed for the games had wasted. haha Playing games with the kids there make me feel so OLD!! MY! after hours of playing, the kids there are still so active and energize! whereas US~~are like zombies de~ @_@

Kids that age around 7-10 are very easy to go along with~they will cling with you as if they know you for very long d~mayb because they are still young. that's y they dont have high defensive wall. haha~ those age 11-17 are abit hard to go along with la~but than some of them are still okay la...there is this one cute little girl~hmm..i think her name is "Sathia"?? She is so cuteee she keep cling herself with me and Wing aka *Lammy?? hahah She keep asking us to stay with her but the thing is we dont know what is she talking about coz she is an indian and she sepak only tamil. Lucky we had someone who can help us to translate what she trying to say~hahaha

One of them game that we played for the longest time was Red Rover. OMG ADAM was so rough in this game. Regret that we ask him to join in! Dont he notice that there are small kid that is sooo skinny playing that game as well?? And there were ladies as well! Gosh! really a one hell of scary person~OH this was the game that really used up all my energy~They keep calling me to go over and break the chain!! T_T I want some rest T_T Even when not being called, we were also using our energy! Why?? COZ we need to bend our back in order to suit the height of the kids. After that game, I feel like my back bone gonna break every minutes! >.< After all the activities, we gave them some food that we prepared as their tea break. Thanks to Mel and Sophie! They prepared sandwiches and brownies! yummy~ =)

After that, we had some bonding time with them =) We spend some of time to talk with them play some mini games with them. Surprisingly, they watch drama even when they are in the* Shelter home? They watch Boy's Over Flower~~Fuyooh~~not bad maa~~haha~*found out that when talking to one of the kid there. hehe.* We left at 5 something, when we finished our bonding time with theme. We cleaned up the place and than we say bye bye to them~ =)

*overall this visit really very fun and tiring. <3 all the children there =)

Shiki~

Hmm~What is the different between Shiki and human??

We human fed on cows, chicken, goats..etc and Shiki fed on human. If Shiki are monster, than what about human?? We take revenge and get rid of them because we are afraid of them hunting us ~ so what about the cows, goats and chicken? dont you think that if they have the ability to fight back, wont they want to take revenge on human as well?? so it is okay for us to hunt other animal for survival but not the others to hunt us for survival? If Shiki fed on human is a forsaken god~than how about human that fed on all the animals and even killed the innocent to protect themselves? If what Shiki did was a sin, than what about human? We human are nothing different from animals, the only different is our brain are more develop. haha

*just some random thought after watching Shiki~ hehehe~~ =)

Because of You

This song really suit me from top till the bottom for what I'm going through this 6years. Ouch~It hurtss it really hurtss..6 yearss..why?? why are you still there?? Hiazz~maybe is time for me to try harder to get rid of you~

"Because of You"

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself

Cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did,

You fell so hard

I've learned the hard way

To never let it get that far

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

I lose my way

And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake

A smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

I watched you die

I heard you cry every night in your sleep

I was so young

You should have known better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else

You just saw your pain

And now I cry in the middle of the night

For the same damn thing

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I try my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you

I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

Because of you

I am afraid

Because of you

Because of you

Phew~~I'm alive~

Phew~ I'm surprise that I'm still alive after 5hours inside Matta Fair~ ~haha xD

Lucky thing is that the route that I'm using not jam~or else maybe I will need to take more than 1hours to reach PWTC. The traffic near PWTC was horrible!! all cars were driving without the rules. Cars were cutting in and out all the waysss...though~I'm one of them as well, cause I know if I dont do that, I will stuvj in the jam for longer hoursss...which will really KILL me~haha~Hate stucking in the middle of the jam!! Is soo damn freaking boring and sleepyy~~haha~

Once I reached PWTC, I realize that find a car park is nearly impossible, that why I do not even think about going round abound to get myself a car park! I straight go to Seri Pacific Hotel and asked for the joki parking. *The hotel really very good at taking advantage from the fair~~ They close all of their parking, and make it available for joki park only~ why?? haha~ cause joki park will cause us RM15 for the service only and Rm5 for the every subsequent hours...OMG the fee is actually RM4 for the every subsequent hourssss, but because of the fair, they increase the price~ damn smart! Making me had to pay RM40 for just 5 hours of parking~ =(

Wow~inside the fair was flooded with people~ I can barely walk without "brushing" with someone else~ walk into the Hall also need to que~omg~~ even when I left that fair, people are still coming in~~in bunch!! lolzz~ haha~ xD~aikss to bad I did not get any good package from the fair~=) aiks~nvm I shall go and check out for the next fair~haha~ to get myself a year end HOLIDAY~~ OMG!! I want my HOLIDAY so badly~~SHIT! Cheong CJ I dont care!! You Better make the Penang trip work out!! Hahaha~~ and I dont even care how many of us are going~haha~I just want my HOLIDAYSS!!! ARGH!!

Okay~I'm done with my old grandmother story for today~haha~shall continue with my dramass and moviesss~~or else will like what Cheryl had said~~we are will not able to finish all of it until we make our step into the groundsss~~lolzz~~haha~~ choii~~ XD

Long Day~

The weather today was super duper cooling, make me dont feel like waking up from my lovely bed~haha. But I still have to wake up early because I need to go to college to pass up my assignment and then of course~hang out with Cheryl,Crystal, Mey, and PC. haha

Since Crystal said her house is nearby with 1u, so we went there with 2 cars, which is actually a very very wrong decision. because this means after that I had to drive cheryl, mey and pc back to help and than i have drive back all the way to 1u there again~haha~~Forget about this point when making the decision. haha. How STUPID am I~~~

once we reached 1u, we went to Tang Shi Fu for our breakfast. haha. There was no one yet during that hour, we are the only customer, cool eh~~hehe *of course there are more people coming in after that, hehe* The food there is still not bad and is pretty cheap compare to our dinner.haha after our breakfast, we went for the music carnival, at first was to just go in and walk around see crystal got anything to get or not, but than it end up that I'm the 1 who buying the most 1. Haha. we spend almost 1hours in the carnival. haha~so times burn very fast. we leave the carnival around 1pm than we headed to Neway.

Singing in new way is kinda in the beginning. We sang damn alot this time. haha~ Pc is the who who keep sing since we enter the room. Omg!! she really like to sing, she can sing for hours wei...almost none stop! Geng right!? ahaha~ But than when we about to leave, the bill comes and this the is the shocking part and the most mood killer part. The total bill is 102!!?? It stated there for student is just 8++ with 2drinks and 1snacks. BUT WTH 4snacks cost 48!!?? Lolzz what kind of snack is it!!?? even red box only charge 10 for 1 only~I felt so cheated wei~~we dont even about it and we change our snacks into drinkssss...which is super sucks! is like drinking sugarr water..haha..just like what cheryl said, after drink the water we go puuiiii~~~hahah lolzzz

than we had dinner at vietnam kitchen, the food taste oky as well~haha * i think i'm very choosy when it come to the taste of the food* haha...I think in that place, our table is the most noisy~haha~why?? because of our PC and Mey looo..cant control their laughter~haha~kinda lonng time since the last time we went out with cheryl and had a longgg chit chat~hahaha~~naisss =)

Lolzz...my day do not end after the dinner and when i reach home~~haha~~I continue with my Playful Kiss~~wootss~~is sooo damn funny~~~ feel like banging my head because of that 2 stupid in the drama~haha~~somehow i think they make it abit to over la~where got people that stupid geh!?? hmm~~are there?? ahaha~~lolzzz

*this is being blog when i'm in the state of half sleep~so there are many mistake around~~so plssss bare with it~~i will come back and clean it when i got the time~~hehehe =)

Feel So Embarrass

OMG!!!! After watching 2 videos on FB, I feel so so so embarrass to admit myself as Malaysian. Shit! why am I a Malaysian?? F! If someone ever ask whether i'm a Malaysian or not, I will for sure genie it! I will tell them I'm not Malaysian and I'm Singaporean or whatever.

A Stupid that work in the tourism department went over to Taiwan to promote but end up getting drunk. Getting drunk is okay BUT molesting a sales girl with the excuse of he is drunk is SHIT!! As a big shot he should he that he is not just representing himself but the country! How would the others view us!? For what he had done in other people country. For him molesting others is not embarrassing enough, so he decided to PEE in his pants when the police arrested him!! WTF!! OMFG!! He dare to molest people but can got scare till PEE in his own pants when the police arrested him. F-You!! Go get balls back! You are not just humiliating the country BUT other MAN all over world as well!! Damn!

The other stupid news that i watched is where this Gay boy who have HIV+ go around to cheat others money and body. Actually, I seriously don't feel pity for those victims. They got themselves into these. Who the hell on earth will go out to meet and have sex with a guy that they just know him for about 2 days?? Are you really that desperate of having it?? For God Sake, you are just 17!!!! Why so rush and desperate of having a relationship!? Some might say that he still young and blah blah blah...PLEASE!! he is 17!! an adult!! how can you say that he is still young? I think sometimes they even know MORE than their own parents! Damn LGBT is already not so accepted by the society and now you guys all doing all these negative news!? You are making LGBT to live with a more difficult life!! Fuck you wei!

Okay~Playful Kiss time~~heheh =)

ANGER!!

I know I said that I'm not going to turn my blog into a blog that full with COMPLAINS..but than sorry..today i really need to make some complain..

Argh!! I always dont like this lecture much , maybe the main reason is because of the lecturer,PIG!I only skip his class for 2 times but in his attendance list, it stated that I did not attend his lecture from the first week till the 6th week!! WTH?? What wrong with him?? FUCK!! On e-learning, I enrolled for his subject right after the first lecture but who the hell know why he is having another 1 under the same name and date as well! WTF!! No wonder I'm always not updated with the class!! FUCK YOU PIG!! GO TO HELL!! You make me miss TWO FREAKING tutorial class!! You should continue with your SECRET IDENTITY instead of becoming the HOD!! So that the world will be more peaceful and less miserable!!

STOP talking about your family! We dont to know about your SON! He got nothing to do with the course outline, not unless you plan to make him part of it!! STOP telling us about your past! We dont want to know how MANY GRILS you love or how many of them loves you!! SHIT YOU!! You should talk more about the course!! That is your job and what we paid for! NOT your FREAKING OLD GRANDMOTHER SOTRIES!!!!

phewww....feels better right now~

*PIG!! Karma will come back and haunt you down for what you had done to us!!!

A Great Day~

Had a great day today~hehe~ First, I'm done with my mid terms~yeeehaa. I dont need to worry about revision d, at least not until finals around the corner.hehe xD luckily 112 is not as hard as what I imagined it would be, cause I expected PIG to give some stupid silly questions but he did not~ so I still manage to answer most of it~hehe..

Second, we went to mid valley to so called celebrate after mid terms. hehe. But we had lots of fun also la. We had our hi-tea at Auntie Anne's, discuss about the paper and of course some gossiping. hehe~ Than we went to Jusco, accompany Cheryl to shop for her snacks, cause she said she need to binge on snacks after her mid-terms. But in the end she change her mind about binge eating, she got herself a Lay's and a small bottle of Bliss.hehe *OMG!! We forgot to go back and get Crystal's egg tart and my Vitagen... :(

While waiting for our movie to start, Drive Crazy,we went shopping around and guess what? Mey found her PIG RABBIT.Or RABBIT PIG??~~haha~~but I have no idea why she dont get it since she like it soooo much.haha. The movie was Funny and many blood flying around.hahaha. but sadly because this is Malaysia, many part were censored by the gov. I really dont get it! It stated 18+ but they still censored it. So what is the point of putting the sign 18+!!?? For fun?? lucky thing is that they did not censored the fault language, or else the movie will be playing with full of "beee".hahha. The next movie that I wanna watch is "Priest" it look nice from the trailer~hehe. waiting for it to release and maybe will go with Crystal since she said she want to watch it too....hehe

Trying my best to make this blog alive~

At last~I'm done with my LLS assignment which I have left it pending for gods know hw many week. Haha. I personally feel that this assignment is kinda stupid. I need to those leaders old grandmother story in order for me to write them. It even require me to know about their relationship with their followers or people. Hello~reading their old grandmother story is already killing me, and now i still need to know about their relationship with their people??Argh!! By the way, i just dont give a real damn about. I crap out most of the things in the assignment. haha.

Okay.I think I need to cut out this complaining thingy. because someone is complaining to me that my blog somehow look like "someone's"blog. why?? Konon-nya my blog is full with complain, just like his. haha. You cant blame me for that you know. I never thought that the day that I plan to blog is when the day that some stupid stuff piss me off. haha. And that is just my 1st blog how can you judge me with just one blog?? ;) So dont worry, I'm gonna make sure that my blog not going to turn out like what his blog are. =)

Since I done with my Ass, right now~I can enjoy myself to the max. coz tomorrow I will need to continue with my 112 again~~ Aiks...*yawn yawn*

First Posting

YESH!!! This will be my first posting on blog and I gonna tell you that it not gonna be a positive blog. Today I'm having two exam papers and as usual, I dont give a damn about it. Hahaha. After the first paper I still feel chill and happy about it because marketing is kinda easy. =) BUT after the second paper, I really feel damn WTF!!! I can NEVER imagine myself getting such questions. Can you imagine getting about more than 10 questions that ask "who is the person that is next to the mosquito in my slides?" "what is the animal is my first slides?" "who is the leader that I showed in the movie during the blah blah blah chapter?" OMFG this is a leadership paper!!! For god sake! what is the point of asking thing about his slides!!?? Will this help us to be a better leader!!?? HELL NO!! Than what is F-king point of asking us this kind of STUPID questions!!! We pay to learn about leadership not about INCREASING our memory power!!! Why dont he just put "student will learn HOW to INCREASE their memory power in the end of this course" instead of leadership skills!!!?? Stupid J.Yap we dont pay 1500 for this kind of education! My friend, if you really do write a complain letter to the department, please count me in as well! I believe there are many more out there who will want to sign on that letter as well. And to those who really spend their precious time on reading the text book, well I fell sorry for you all. Okay~that all I need to blog for today. Aikss...kinda sad that my first blog are polluted by J.Yap!